Hi Rob -
This is my opinion, not that you asked for it!
Don't sweat it. I would casually mention it sooner rather than later. If you wait and wait - it makes it seem like a huge deal and you will have more anxiety about it. Just treat it as normal - you are not dying, you don't have a horrible secret - you just happend to have a chronic health condition that dictates you make certain food choices. Big Deal! Who knows, she might have a friend or a loved one who has IBS already!
If this lady ends up not liking you because of IBS - then phooey on her. She's not for you. If she is turned off by such a small taste of adversity, she would not be very understanding or supportive of you during flare ups and attacks. You deserve to be with a supportive and compassionate lady.
My husband has an arthritic-type condition called ankylosing spondylitis. It is quite crippling when he has an attack and can severely limit his activities. (Sounds familiar to us IBS people, huh?) He worried so much as a young man that he would have a difficult time finding a lady who would be willing to marry him with this chronic health problem.
When I met him, he told me about this condition. I didn't care. I thought he was such a wonderful, compassionate, loving, funny and genuinely amazing guy. I knew that the AS might cause us problems or limit his activities at times, but let's face it - anything can happen in life to any of us. We can become permanently disabled, disfigured, chronically ill, etc. You have to love the person inside - their very soul. I didn't look at my DH and say "wow, he has such healthy joints!" I looked at his heart, his character, his mind.
After we married, I developed IBS. He has been amazingly supportive, caring and loving. He is my advocate in restaurants, at family gatherings and at people's homes. He reads labels for me. He tries new soy products with me. He helps me when I am having an attack. He gives me massages at the end of his long work day (they really help reduce my attacks). I think that his having a chronic disease has helped him be a more loving and compassionate person. It has helped him be a fantastic husband.
I am so blessed and happy that my husband didn't judge me by my intestines!
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