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No kidding! Flowers once in a while or just making supper AND cleaning up would be nice. Affection is a four letter word for some men. Why does a back rub always have to end up being a gropefest? Ah well....Once we get our bodies undercontrol then hopefully things will get better. sometimes you just have to put out to shut them up(did I say that out loud?) It's tough getting men to understand the relationship between health and sex. They could be dying, breathing their last breath and if you said lets go they'd go down trying!! Good luck on the meds. I hope they make you feel "normal" soon and remember...sometimes you just have to fake it!!
-------------------- IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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It's too bad that your DH is withdrawing from you when you need it most. My DH is the same way. Unfortunately I think that it is just the way some men are (Double J is our ultimate exception on this board!)
Sometimes they just need reminding of how you still need the love and kisses. Just last night I tucked an I love you card in my DH's lunch bag because I'm missing his company lately. He works 4am to noon right now because he does line painting for the municipality. He's in bed at 7:30 - 8pm so I have some lonesome evenings. Tonight he was playful and affectionate so I know he must have understood my message.
I hope your honey comes around and is able to support you emotionally as well.
-------------------- Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Hey Nugget.....I can tell you from my own personal experience with Lexapro: my libido went OUT THE DOOR for the first few months as well! After my body got regulated to the medicine it came back....it only took a few months. I hope that this happens to you as well! Again, if you're feeling ok on the dose that you're on, don't increase it! Good luck ok!
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thanks for the encouraging news, Jhuggs! I hope that happens for me. {{{hugs}}} I do feel good at 10mg. The doc said she'd keep me on it for at least a year.
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thanks Toady! That's a good idea about the note. {{{hugs}}}
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Dragonfly....Thanks for making me laugh! Everything you said is SOOOOOO true! There are sooo many times that I've honestly just wanted a back rub....and "Do you want a back rub?" to him is secret code for "let's get it on!" LOL!
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My husband, who has been less than supportive when I've been sick over the past few years, came down with a horrible cold over the weekend. He can hardly talk and has been sleeping a lot tonight since he got home from work. I've told him to "feel better soon" to which he replies "that's the plan". I told him to drink lots of fluids, to which he replied "that's the plan". I try to be sympathetic, but I find it hard to be with things he has said and done when I've been sick. This is the guy, who when we first met, offered to come over to my apartment when I had a bad cold and make me some soup and take care of me. What happened to THAT guy? I had this horrible cold...just like he has now...about a month ago and do you think I got any sympathy? NO! Do you think he made sure I had some dinner? NO! I still cooked. I still fed our dogs. I still did the laundry. I did all that because if I hadn't it would have not gotten done. When I had to have my hysterectomy and couldn't do anything strenuous for 6 weeks I waited to see if he would vaccume the house or clean the bathroom without being asked. Finally at 5 weeks I asked him to vaccume and clean the bathroom because I couldn't. He finally did, but he wasn't happy about it. This is the guy who used to clean all the time when we lived together in an apartment before we were married. What happened to THAT guy? I had blood in my urine for a week one time and finally took myself to the ER one morning after he told me "You're ALWAYS sick!" after I told him I was scared. He went on to work and I called in sick and went to the ER. I later found out after numerous tests over a month long period of time...that I had an ovarian cyst the size of a tennis ball and it required a total hysterectomy. Once they had me opened up they also found extensive endometriosis and lots of smaller cysts. That was almost 2 years ago. He was supportive at first, but then one day I asked for some help picking pumpkins that I grew for Halloween...I couldn't lift anything over 10 pounds yet and he threw a fit that I would ask him to do that. He eventually did...but I felt like an idiot for asking him to help me out. This is the guy who I have helped with EVERYTHING he has ever asked me to help him with. When I need help, though, forget it most of the time. If I was the one sick right now with a cold...he wouldn't have made sure I had some dinner tonight. When I ask him if he needs something he says "I'm fine" so I quit asking. I just don't have it in me any more to feel sorry for him. His mom told me she talked to him on the phone today and "He could hardly talk he's so sick." Poor thing....I've been sick like that, too and he didn't seem to care. I've peed blood for a week and it didn't bother him. What happened to the guy I fell in love with 14 years ago? Am I a bad person for not feeling bad because he is sick? I hope I don't get it again...I had it a month ago and since surgery, I catch "bugs" easy. So I'm staying away from him as much as possible. He is sleeping on the couch so that is nice of him to do that for me.
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Nugget, No...that's not bad. I was in exactly the same situation with my first husband. I was stressed out with doing everything myself and tried so hard not to ask anything of him. When I did, it was like he was doing me a huge favor and he'd huff and puff about it while he was doing it. I finally (after 11 years together) got out! It was hard to do but once I realized that there really were some nice guys out there that truly care, I was okay. 4 years ago, I met my DH and he's wonderful. He's thoughtful, sensitive and caring.
I'm so sorry that you have an unsympathetic lump on your couch. At least he's where he should be!
Lauren
-------------------- Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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I think you have the right to feel this way but I think if you guys don't seek counselling you'll be very unhappy and headed for a divorce. Good luck .
-------------------- IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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Thanks for your support Flipada....I really appreciate it. He used to be so loving and caring....but as time goes on....he gets worse about it. I just don't understand. And he is so helpful to others....but not me. Our friends and his co-workers would be so surprised if they knew how he doesn't help me much.
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