|
|
Nelly...I can sooo relate with what you are saying. When I look back on the food I was raised on as a kid, it's a wonder I survived at all. I think my mom thought I was making up all the symptoms just to avoid eating stuff I didn't like. So she made me eat it anyway. I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but there are lots of things she could have been and could now be a little more understanding about. The food she cooked then was usually fried in lots of oil. Slathered with LOTS of butter. Or when she baked cookies or made chocolate fudge for Christmas, she would put walnuts in them. I would ask her to leave the walnuts out because they made my mouth feel like there were tiny paper cuts and she'd say..."oh...if you don't like the walnuts, just spit them out. Everyone else likes the walnuts." Well, when I moved out on my own as an adult, I had allergy tests done and found out I am mildly allergic to walnuts. She says she felt bad for doing that when I was growing up, but to this day sometimes she'll still tell me that I can just eat around the walnuts. My mom was and still is a great cook, but not the healthiest of cooks when it comes to having a daughter with IBS (or as it was called when I was a kid..."nervous stomach"). With all the grease, sugar, high fat, low fiber I was eating, it's no wonder I would have attacks at school or would "hold it" all day and then not be able to go when I got home because I was embarrassed about asking for a bathroom pass all the time. It's a wonder, too, that I don't weight 500 pounds! I weigh a healthy 137.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh, MAN, you hit it on the head. LOL! My mom also said "Eat around the walnuts!" Never mind they slice up my gums, give me swollen pieces on my tongue and make me cough!!
I told my mom I was having asthma attacks at school and she said, "You don't have asthma. Don't say that; people will think you're a hypochondriac." I was 9. When I think my asthma could have been controlled all those years instead of my having the rotten quality of life...
Other things my mom didn't believe in: pain management for children, cold remedies, headache medicine (I was told to go in a room and lie with my eyes closed until it passed)... What else... hay fever ("It's psychosomatic"), germ theory, and a stomach just ache meant I needed to go to the bathroom. Also: a/c. Did I mention heat is my biggest trigger?? 
Arg.
I try and focus on how BETTER my quality of life is now and how greatful I've met like-minded people who've been through as much as I have. 
But it feels really good to vent about how evilly I was treated before I knew what was wrong with me. Makes me feel not so bad that I couldn't recognize how scr*wed my IBS was and so thankful that I'm being treated better now. 
{{{{{DOUBLE HUGS}}}}} for the walnuts! Evil things. 
~nelly~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I hear you all my mom the same way growing up she used so much LARD! To me the stuff needs to be outlawed. I use to tell her milk and things upset my stomach. But it was in my head when I was first was told I had this she didn't belive me and refuse to by things I could eat well now that I am on my own I know all to well how she cooked. Now if I go over its bring your own food or she forgets to tell me soemthings in there. Don't get me wrong I love her but sometimes she really upsets me and shes not that well and neither is my dad and I wish she would cook better for both of them, (sigh) but all I can do is pray! Thanks for letting me vent!ps I did find out later in life I am lactose interolant!
emmasmom
ibs-c
gas
lactose interolant
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I sent an email to my parents listing all my trigger foods, and even gave them some links for helpforibs.com specifics... my dad wrote back and said something to the effect of "I thought since the colonoscopy/endoscopy went well, you didn't have IBS." Noooo, that just means I don't have stomach cancer or some horrible disease!! I still have IBS!! Sheesh. So hopefully next time I go over to their place for dinner, they will be more accommodating.
The weird thing is, my boyfriend's parents are waaaay better when it comes to feeding me. When I have dinner with them, they get everything right! If they care about my needs, why can't my parents?
Arggg!!!
And I am so not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner with the parents. I know that if I bring my own food, or insist on certain menu options, they will be totally insulted.
--------------------
"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it." -Jerry Seinfeld
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I soooo understand! There are lots of things in my childhood that I look back on and can connect how I was treated then with how things affect me now as an adult. Not only with my IBS, but with why I have anxiety about certain things, why I get so upset about certain things, etc. When I think back to those times, it makes me so mad. And yet, when I was a kid, I thought I had such a great life and great family....and I did....but boy did my parents go wrong in a lot of ways that really affected me since I was such a shy person. For instance....If your child is shy, don't tell everyone "oh, she won't do that, she's too shy." Encourage her to do something! Don't say, "she got the large calves and legs from me." (I've been self concious of my legs my whole life because of that! I don't even wear shorts in public. I'm not even overweight and I hate showing my legs) Don't tell your child as the family leaves for a road trip to Canada, that once we get to the border "you kids have to get your shots updated." and then laugh. It took three days to get to the border of Canada. I was in the second grade and scared to death about reaching the border and having to get shots. We got to the border. Went through Customs. Started driving away and my parents were laughing their heads off at how scared I was! It's no wonder I have anxiety attacks now as an adult and I was scared of doctors and dentists!! (I'm crying now as I write this!) Bringing back too many memories that wouldn't have affected some people at all, but I've carried these little things with me through my 39 years and I'm sick of it!!! I had terrible headaches as a kid. My mom was a smoker and I always told her the smoke bothered me. "Oh it does not!" she'd say. She took me to the eye doctor to see if maybe my eyes were causing my headaches. Everything was fine. She took me to the doctor. He gave me some neck relaxing exercises to ease my headaches. No allergy tests or anything were ordered. So I suffered with headaches until I moved away to go to college. Once I got away from the cigarette smoke, the headaches stopped. I told her that and she felt bad but didn't quit smoking until I kept bugging her to quit when I got out of college. She finally did. (I need to go back to Pikes Peak and scream at the top of my lungs again)
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Don't cry sweetie. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. No one does. You suffered all those years needlessly. I'll bet you're a very empathetic person, regarding other people's feelings now. You will never treat someone defenseless that way.
{{{{{{{{HUGS AGAIN}}}}}}}}}
I re-live every invasive test I had as a child, every painful, humiliating moment. I think if my pain was addressed (I didn't know what cold medicine was until I was 16, or understand was novocaine was either) I would be less anxious about going for a colonoscopy, sigmoidoscopy, endoscopy, barium enema, biopsy, etc. as an adult. Don't get me started on my dentist anxiety!!
When I got older, I also thought that I didn't deserve to be out of pain, that codiene and vicodin was for other people. I had a major block about even taking an otc pill for a headache. My mother reinforced that I was not good enough, that I had to "suffer." [shaking head] Awful to treat a human being like that.
We'll always be strong for what we've been through. I think we're also the most caring people on earth for what we've had to struggle with. And the abuse stops with us!!
~nelly~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I know what you mean about us being more understanding of how to treat people. Don't get me wrong...I wasn't abused. I had a good family...just some of the things they did that they thought were funny, were actually damaging to someone like me who was shy. I never realized that until it has all caught up with me 39 years later. I had to have a hysterectomy last year so I will never be able to have children of my own and raise them the way I wished I was raised. I wish I would have been encouraged to do more things instead of always hearing "she's shy". I wish I would have been less "sheltered". My family loves me, I know....they were not abusive...they were just young when they got married and didn't know how to really raise kids. They learned as they went along.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Honestly, good for you! I'm not advocating that we should abuse cheating, but after weeks, possibly months of eating super-safe, you deserve to have a moment of weakness every once in a while. For me, my girlfriends hosted a girls night for myself and another friend because our birthdays are this week. So we went to our favorite Mexican Restaurant and I had TWO MARGARITAS! I haven't touched alcohol in 10 months because its a huge trigger for me. But I had already decided in advance to celebrate in some fashion, and since that's my favorite drink, I just went for it. However, I have to say that I did so smartly, because I ate a bunch of tortillas they serve at the table there before I drank any, and I didn't gulp it down but savored it. The best part? I had an awesome time AND didn't have any major IBS issues the next day! So from one cheater to another, you go girl!!!
Julie
IBS-D, GERD, lactose intolerant
--------------------
"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Congratulations Caputsky!!! Happy Birthday, too!! You deserve to cheat once in a while. You go, too, girl!! {{High Five}}
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Posts
