Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | A Letter to my GI Tract - (if it could read, that is)

Dearest Gastrointestinal System,

We started our relationship together on good terms. I ate, you processed, things moved on. You worked with me as I began to eat my first solids as a baby. You dutifully digested meats, cheeses, fruits, vegetables, fried food,and anything else I could think of to send your way. We enjoyed outings at the beach. We went camping together. We danced and rejoiced as children. We even discovered boys together without a flutter from you. But then something happened. You slowly started to resent me. You set yourself against helping me to pull nutrition from the most basic foods. You hurriedly pushed all foods through me as though you were late for some other important event. You grew ever angrier with me for no reason I ever knew of. You rebelled. You turned, twisted, contracted, and threw away everything I offered to you in an attempt to appease you. For years this went on. I tried to tell others of the horrible beast now living within me and no one believed me. They said I was overreacting. They questioned my mind. They told me I was making you up. Then, finally, I took matters into my own hands. I searched night and day for weapons to use against you. I fought you when you made every effort to take my quality of life away. I took away all of your tools of destruction. I took away carbonation first. That was always your favored weapon. Then I took away dairy. Then went the alcohol, red meat and fried foods. Now you were starting to listen. But to my dismay, you still had the strength to fight against me. And I thought that perhaps I should resign myself to a life of you reigning over me. No more would I leave the house on a whim. I would give up attempting to have any kind of romantic life. I would go without movies, beaches, restaurants and road trips. You would win. But somewhere inside of myself (no doubt you were trying to pooh it away) I found the little bit of strength I had left to fight you and headed out for one last hoorah. I found the artillery I needed to force you to take your proper place as my GI tract. Acacia fiber put a real damper on your day. But when I introduced you to my friends L-Glutamine and BC, well, I could feel you paralyze in fear. You fought on, though. You weren't about to give up that easily. And then I found your silver bullet. Hypnotherapy. Since that time you've attempted to break through and wreak havoc on my insides. But I always get you under control. Our relationship passed on from being functional long ago. You are now my own, personal, functional dys-function. One day, when I pass from this world and onto whatever comes next, I'm gonna eat ho-hos until they come out my ears and you won't be able to do a darn thing about it. So there, sucka!

With love,
The body you have so mercilessly attempted to blot out of functional existence and failed at

--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator