doing my business during business hours ...
#188384 - 06/22/05 03:09 PM
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Okay, those of you who work full time ... how the HECK do you poop at work? I rarely have D anymore, I'm just talking about regular old #2 like all working people must have at some point in the day. I am working as a summer associate at a fantastic warm wonderful law firm for the summer, and it's my first "real" job. I've hostessed before or worked at day camps, but somehow the bathroom situation is much more difficult in an office. The only bathroom for women has 3 stalls. If I can get in when nobody is in there and go real fast, I'm fine. It usually doesn't take me a long time to go, thanks to the wonderful IBS urgency that I still get. But, twice in a row today, I went in to use it and each time someone was in there applying makeup or something. I don't mind if the other person is in the stall when I get there, because then I can stay in until after they leave, and they'll never know it was me. But I can't walk past a person putting on her makeup, and sit on the pot and poop while she's making small talk with me. HELP!!! What do you people do about this? I finally got a decent BM on my last trip, but I finished way too quickly because someone came in towards the end and I had to flush fast. Now I have that incomplete evacuation feeling, which I almost never get. I'm afraid that all of this paranoia is going to swing me to C. What do I do?
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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I have looked this one right in the face!
We have about 60 female staff and four stalls.
The way I see it, we all gotta poop, that's what bathrooms are for.
Therefore, if I gotta go (i get the old urgency too) I go.
Sometimes, I go into the stall and flush to cover the noise. Or I go in, they go about their business and I start to go about mine. Other times I go in to terminate the conversation but wait until they turn on the hand drier or something to eliminate the sound effects.
If someone comes in they will be in a stall before you come out so you don't have to face them so don't let them rush you.
Embarrassing story: I had a D-ish attack yesterday at work. I was washing my hands when a colleague came into the bathroom. She went into the stall that I had come out of and then came right back out and said that there was no TP in there. (I knew there was, she didn't know that I had come out of that one) Obviously there was a stench left behind by me 
Maybe I am rude??
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S.
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I never thought about that. I guess I'm spoiled because just about every place I've ever worked just had "one-holers."
Even before IBS, I've always subscribed to the "When you gotta go, you gotta go" school of thought.  Can you find a way to avoid the small talk or just make the smallest of small talk and then hope the other person goes away soon?
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Hee hee. At home, I will warn people "You don't wanna go in there" if it's been especially unpleasant. I've even done the "light a match" trick to make the aroma goes away. This amuses my husband for some reason.
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Poor AP! You so don't need the stress!
We've all totally had this problem!!!! If I have to be in the office to go, I go at odd times so that I don't run into anybody. I hate people who talk to me while I'm in the stall. It's like, go somewhere else, Now! NOW! 
I also find different floors with fewer women/quieter bathrooms/less foot traffic and use the toilet there. If I'm in dire need of a one-seater, a restaurant across the street is nice and anonymous. But only if I can get there in time. 
If worse comes to worse, I will ball up tp in my hands and press my face into it, closing my eyes and plugging my ears, and wishing I was on an M class planet all by myself. Urgency, pain, loss of dignity and a strong suspension of disbelief are a must for that one.
I guarantee, the other people in close proximity will be shocked into silence.
Good luck!
~nelly~
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Oh sinead...thats so funny and that must have been so awkward! I HATE those people that make small talk, even while I am peeing...how can they not know that people need their alone time when they poo??????? Its common sense to me. The only person I can chat to and poo at the same time is hubby and maybe my Mum, but noone else.
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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It sucks doesn't it!!!!! These people that don't work full time just don't know how good they have it LOL!!!!!
We have about 10 women and 3 stalls. We have one private bathroom which is technically the "big" boss's. If I have to go twice (which is when I'm having an attack)I go once in the stall bathroom and then go in the private one. Our "big boss" isn't there that often. We have spray in each bathroom which is good. I've often contemplated keeping wipies in there too for those really sore days.
Oh and about no one knowing who's in the stall next to you? Well with only 10 women, you can tell who is who by their shoes. We have all different ages and sizes so it's easy for us to tell who's who. Sad huh!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Unless I am in D mode, I absolutely refuse to go AT ALL. Which I know is horrible, but I just can't help it. I used to be one of those people that would go home from school because I had to use the bathroom. We have over 500 female that use the four restrooms in the building and I still won't go. Please help!! 
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lovejoy_22
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It's a hard one!
Find a bathroom that is private if one exists.
Also, buy some room freshner and keep it in the washroom that you use. Nobody will know who bought it and everyone will appreciate not smelling poo. Just buy a light fragrance light lemon or something.
I never bought one but the janitor here has put a SUPER good apple scented one in the washrooms that could cover the smell of a skunk! it's industrial strength. he he
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I have been blessed in that I rarely poop after I leave the house but the standard "courtesy flush" every time a poop falls (now isn't this sexy!) is supposed to help those with odor insecurity.
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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and I never make small talk with people in there, luckily no one here does either. And the agency is made up of a bunch of offices and sections and I really only work with about 6 other women, so most of time the women in there are ones I don't know, so I don't even care. My cousin (a guy) told me this weekend he found a bathroom on another floor at his company that no one uses and he goes there for #2. That cracked me up! I guess I just decided that everyone does it, I don't care what these people think of me, and it's not worth getting embarrassed about!!! Ever read that book "Everyone Poops?"
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Well, I work for a small company and it is in a house....well my office used to be the garage...but anyway, I go in the house to use the bathroom. Everyone here is very OPEN... At times when I'm done.... I've been known to say....."That wing of the house is closed"...LOL Got that from a movie or something a few years ago.
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Hahaha...I totally understand what you mean. It drives me absolutely nutty when I have to use the washroom and some lady is in there doing her makeup and having a chat on her cell phone when I'm trying to poop!!
What I do is put a whole bunch of toilet paper in the toilet before I poop and then when the poop hits it doesn't make any noise because it hits the toilet paper and not the water. LOL It works all the time for me.
Good luck!!
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Good trick! But do you worry about the toilet getting plugged?
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it's never happened to me yet....I don't use LOADS of toilet paper....just enough to cushion the fall. hee hee 
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Amanda,
You are not alone. I work in a school with plenty of female teachers. We have a faculty only bathroom with 3 stalls. That doesn't always mean that no students will come in. If I go in and someone else is in the bathroom I will try to hold it until they flush or turn the water on or leave. With teachers in classes it is pretty easy to catch the bathroom with no one in it.
I hate when someone wants to chat with me especially if I am having stomach cramps. I have been on my way to the bathroom and seen a teacher go in and I have headed to another one to hopefully catch some privacy.
I guess it all boils down to everyone poops and we shouldn't be embarrassed but it is hard not to be.
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Janey
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Ok, good trick....
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If you're the kind of person that this bothers, there's no talking yourself out of it - it just bothers you and you can't help it. Some people are like, "Everyone does it, who cares??" but I feel sort of like you and it's mostly subconscious I think. When I was teaching I would find a bathroom no one ever used, had to walk to get there but the privacy was worth it. GL!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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This is an e-mail I received from a very mature friend of mine lol. I thought it was relevant to this thread to add a little humour not that I follow all the rules 
HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all
kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below.
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable.
For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING When farting, walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Don't stop until the full fart has been expelled and make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it
did not happen. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved.
JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a
machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant
the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY
FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and
is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in
the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into
the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of
loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper.
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Microscopic Colitis, IBS-A, GERD, Hiatal Hernia
Bethany, Ontario, Canada
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~Cara~
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I used them alot when I was having D all the time. Just make sure there isn't a crowd of disabled people who all use that one bathroom tho!
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Okay, I think I'm pretty much an out-of-the-closet pooper. I poop at work every day and I would die if I didn't. When you poop five or six times a day, ya' gotta go somewhere! I do try to avoid coming out of the stall when there are other people standing around doing make-up or something and I try not to fart too lound or anything. But when ya' gotta go, ya' gotta go, especially when you're me! There are somethings I hate though - like the people who try to talk to you in the bathroom - okay we're pooping in here - we're NOT talking! Also, I hate the little cracks on the outlines of the door where people can see a bit of you inside the stall - I know everyone averts their eyes like I do, but I always feel embarrased by those! I often use the handicapped bathroom just to avoid that - since the toliet is further back in the stall and the crack only shows a line of wall on the other side...
I agree though - it would be lovely to all have our private throwns adjacent to our offices - wouldn't it
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Oh my Lord, that is toooo funny!
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Quote:
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and
is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
My boss disappears with his newspaper for at least 20 minutes each afternoon..ugh!
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S.
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Oh my gosh! Great advice! See, this is why I love this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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I would just like to say how happy I am to have a single bathroom at work so no one can come near me when I have to go. At my old job I used to have a friend that would help keep the other women we work with occupied while I went in to use the 3 stall bathroom alone. This always worked since we only had about 6 women we worked with.
I think all bathrooms should have extra loud exhaust fans so no one can hear a thing. Just think of all the embarressment that would save.
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reminds me of two things. One how different men and women can be. That meaning that when I go to the washroom, I don't cae who else is in there. You gotta go, you gotta go and who cares what sounds come out!
Second it reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George has own washroom because of a faked disability!
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I agree. Washrooms should have either music, or some type of loud noise JUST to cover certain noises. he he
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I have always been incredibly fortunate as my previous employers have all seemed to have something close to the effects of IBS themselves so it has never been an issue.
It's wonderful.
At the mall, I just tell myself I will never see these people again and go about my business.
Or you could always do the "Someone laid something in that stall careful" when someone comes in while you are washing your hands. You don't have to admit it was you - just deter them from the stall it happened it LOL
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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and his automatic flusher - he had to have a fresh bowl! I can relate!!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I think guys come from the womb not worried about bodily noises!! Ha! Ha!
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God is Faithful!
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God is Faithful!
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I remember when my kids were learning to walk they would pull up to a stand on anything. So there I am on the can and they're pulling themselves up to a stand holding on my knees. VERY awkward. Trying to do business while worrying whether your kid is gonna fall over....
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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This may have already been said...I keep asking for music in our bathroom at work. I would take elevator music over silence (with an occasional noise you would rather not hear). I'm still waiting for the music
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Hans
#189424 - 06/27/05 07:48 AM
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Lana_Marie
Reged: 01/31/03
Posts: 1968
Loc: Saskatchewan. Canada
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Quote:
I remember when my kids were learning to walk they would pull up to a stand on anything. So there I am on the can and they're pulling themselves up to a stand holding on my knees. VERY awkward. Trying to do business while worrying whether your kid is gonna fall over....
I can totally relate - Bentley likes to slam the lid against my back and flush the toilet and try to climb in the bath tub head first all while I am in extreme pain and trying to concentrate on not passing out - LOL - Ah, IBS and children....well, really, the things we do for chocolate Bwhahaha
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Ahh, dear girl. The things we do for IBS. You're right. The things we do for children. How is Ben? Any thoughts of #2? How is the Scrapbook store coming? Fill us in sweetheart!
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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