Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Just thought I'd give y'all something to laugh about and today and that will be me and my out-of-control burning of things phase.

So the other night I was enjoying my break and reading a book in bed and I'd say it was about 3am by the time I was ready to turn off the light and go to bed..so I roll over to reach for the lamp on my nightstand and realize that the lamp was tipped over (keep in mind this is a lamp I painted at one of those ceramic pottery painting places MANY years ago and ya kinda had to put it together yourself and awhile ago the part that keeps the lightbulb upright had detached from being hotglued and I never fixed it, so it's always falling over) well for whatever reason the lamp shade had kinda come off in the opposite direction and I'm trying to set it back upright and I can't! Then I realize that the lightbulb had essentially been resting on the cordless phone in it's little cradle and had MELTED THE PHONE and was stuck to it. So I'm trying to pull them apart and meanwhile I feel like I should be artistic about it since the phone is real melty and I'm like reshaping the phone while it's still hot...lol. So I remove the phone from the cradle since it clearly doesn't work and the buttons have melted into a funny color goo and part of it you can even see into the side of the phone to the little circuit board thingy. This is only really funny now that I didn't start a fire or fallen asleep and something else could have happened seriously. I just have to buy a new phone now

Then tonight I was making pasta and I went to dump the pasta into the pot and I guess a piece fell into the burner and started burning cause I look and there a black piece of pasta in there smoking so I turn the vent on above the stove and just let it go cause the pasta is almost done. I guess that was stupid but I figured it'd be too hot to grab out of there right away anyhow and the smoke seemed to subside with the fan thing on so I kept going. Well I finished making the pasta and decided I'd make ADB's too..so I was like -it'll take 2 seconds for the 1/2 cup of water to boil since the burner is already hot so I'll just hurry and do that quick then rescue the charred pasta piece outta there. Well I guess by that point the kitchen had gotten a little smokier over this course of about 15 minutes than I realized at all so then the smoke alarm beeps once and I'm like oh geez, and after one more beep it goes off. So I finally go to find a way to shut the darn thing off and it was loud but MAN is it loud when you're like right under it. I kept thinking I could find a way to smack it off while keeping my ears plugged...lol no such luck. I finally let go of my ears and smacked it. Then sprayed the kitchen cause it smelled and continued.

LOL maybe I shouldn't have shared this because now I'm just feeling like an idiot...oh geez. Well too late I guess.

I swear I'm normally really smart (Well except that time I looked all over the bottle trying to figure out how many One-A-Day vitamins I was supposed to take

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