SHERI!
#154339 - 02/26/05 02:44 AM
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I love reading your drunken posts. I can always tell because your spelling and words get a bit wonky. 
Ya, my mom sucks. I love her to death but she is just terrible at handling anything difficult. She never knew the half of all my IBS problems. I lied about how bad it was at one point just to spar her. And I never told her that I was tested for Crohn's. She would have cried a river and been so worried!
I wish she would be supportive of my decision. My ex-BF's dad has no ill will towards me and left a message on our machine that he sends me all his love. My own mom isn't even that nice!!!
I will be ok. I have a lot of support of some very amazing people (friends). Hey sometimes friends become your family.
You met a guy. Alright Sheri. Just don't get carried away if you know what I mean. That's my sisterly advice to you!
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PAULA!
#154340 - 02/26/05 02:53 AM
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Yes, our mom's are similar. Wow. 
My mom has always given me grief about my weight. I'm very thin and every single time she sees me she looks me over from top to bottom and says that I must not be eating enough and that she's so worried about me. But a few years back I was 20 lbs heavier and she kept telling me to excercise more and that I was getting too "content". My dad's just as bad and called me a cow when I gained that extra weight. I was having a talk about it with my mom on the phone and I could hear him in the background going "moo, moo". DUH! Grow up there parents. Anyhow, they will never ever be happy with me. There's always something wrong and their love is not unconditional. 
Another thing she does is comment how my tops are way too tight. I have big enough boobs (with a small frame) and don't like to wear baggy tops. I like tight tops. I don't dress sleazy ever but she always stares at me like I'm being so daring. She bought me two sweaters for Christmas and made me buy them 2 sizes larger so they would be "looser" in the bust area. Oh come on! I have asked my ex-BF so many times if some of my clothes are too revealing and she says "hell no". That if I have it I should flaunt it and that is why some women get boob jobs. Boobs are good. 
That's so hurtful that your parents couldn't stay long enough to see your wedding. I'm so sorry. Come on now! 
Your husband is wise and I think I will follow that advice. They have no emotional support to give me for whatever reason.
It just kills me that my ex-BF's family took me in unconditionally and loved me to death while my own parents just see flaws in me. I will miss his family and I started thinking of them as my own. I always saw his grandma as my own and she even said that I could call her grandma and she considered me a grand daughter. His family is very touchy fely and I always got lots of hugs from them. I will miss that.
Oh well. That's what my friends are for. They also give me lots of hugs. I have no problem asking them for a hug if I need one.
As always thanks so much Paula. 
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We are quite similar too! My mother has never been there for me at all. My sister has always been her petunia and mom has always managed to turn us against each other. (we now know that and hardly talk to mom as a result)
I have recently gone to councelling to deal with alot of the things you just stated above. I completely understand how you feel, but remember. You are a great person and have tons of friends and you are worthy of receving love from your friends and loved ones.
Also - if you want to continue a relationship with your EX's family I'm sure they would love to see you etc. I broke up with my EX and still visit his one set of aunts and cousins. We got extremely close and weren't willing to break up with EX and I broke up LOL
Take care hon! If you want to talk about stuff more detailed, feel free to email me. I know i don't know you all that well, but I know exactly how you feel!
--------------------
Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Hey thanks for you response.
My mom and I are actually pretty close. I just can't tell her certain things or else she worries too much. Plus, I have realized that most of the things that I do are kinda odd by her standards. I don't care though!
I know that I need to confront her on her behaviour some time. I have been meaning to for years. Every time I visit my parents, I always come back very self-concious like I have so many flaws. It makes me sad. I wish they could be supportive.
I don't think I will stay in touch with his family. I gave them all my work email and told them to write any time they want to. I am close with his sister as she's my age. But she is feeling like she's in the middle of things so I don't want to push her.
Thanks again for your email. Are you finding the counselling helpful?
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