OMG...I just got call from Shane... I'M PISSED - (I'm over it now, just needed to vent)
#142443 - 01/25/05 10:53 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Shane called me while on a break at training.... he said, "I need to tell you something and your not going to be happy"......  oh, that is a great way to start a conversation!!  He said, "My new office is not going to be ready when they said it would be....so I'm gonna have to make another trip to LA to work from Corporate Feb 14th -18th...." I'M PISSED!!  He says, "We will have a great weekend (Feb 11-13th and I will get a extra special gift)...and it will all be good...." Yah, WHATEVER!! I asked who's @$$ here locally do I get to kick for not having the office ready?? I told him I WAS NOT KIDDING... with the last few days that I have had and I'm on the rag...... I better not find out WHO's fault it is!! 
OK, calm down Shell......
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Edited by Shell Marr (01/25/05 01:35 PM)
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What a bummer, Shell!! It sounds like you will have a good weekend before that though! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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YIKES
#142452 - 01/25/05 11:05 AM
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heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
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Ok Girl deep breaths!! Honey it will be ok!! Things will all calm down and it will be something you look back on and know it made you guys a stronger couple! TRUST ME!!!
BIG HUGS
Don't kill anyone shell!!!
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Heather7476
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Shell, should I go out and buy that web cam today? 
Alright, maybe I shouldn't be teasing you. With the way you're feeling you might take the flight out here and kick my @ss...
That s*cks about Shane. Speaking from the male point of view, just remember he has no control over this AND I am sure it was not his choice...
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What a bummer, Shell!! It sounds like you will have a good weekend before that though!
Yes, this is true.... I just need to calm down... I have major cramps and I forgot my meds at home, that I just spent $7.00 on last night....
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Re: YIKES
#142460 - 01/25/05 11:11 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Quote:
Ok Girl deep breaths!! {{DDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP BBBBBBBRRRREEEEEAAAAAATTTTHHHHHH}} ok, that helped a little Honey it will be ok!! Things will all calm down and it will be something you look back on and know it made you guys a stronger couple! TRUST ME!!! Yes, it is just hard right now.....
BIG HUGS
Don't kill anyone shell!!! Nah, I'll just hurt them a little... 
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Shell, should I go out and buy that web cam today? LMAO...
Alright, maybe I shouldn't be teasing you. With the way you're feeling you might take the flight out here and kick my @ss... Yah, but you might like it! 
That s*cks about Shane. Speaking from the male point of view, just remember he has no control over this AND I am sure it was not his choice... Thanks Tommy...I NEEDED to read THAT..... your so right...he kept saying, "it was more money in his pocket too for that week"...I know he is doing this for our future.... I just have to be strong... I will TRY!
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Oh man, it better be an AWESOME gift that the company pays for! BIG hugs for you, Shell! I know how much of a bummer it's going to be on V-Day with Shane not there. 
You and I will have to be each other's Valentines! I think Mike is going down to LA for his neice's cheerleading competition (he's babysitting his mom) so I don't see him V-Day either.
Hey.. ask if you can use that plane ticket he was going to buy you to come see me! LOL I got a really comfy air-mattress and we can plot ways to screw with my neighbors (will have hopefully moved by then!).
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- Jennifer
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my boy is gonna be in Sudbury playing in a volley ball tournament so i won't be seeing him for valentines day either....he's gone from the 11th to the 16th
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Oh even better suggestion! Tell him you'd like to fly your "friend" in from Las Vegas to spend the weekend with you.  (forget the name! I'm sure you guys didn't.. LOL)
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- Jennifer
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Oh man, it better be an AWESOME gift that the company pays for! BIG hugs for you, Shell! I know how much of a bummer it's going to be on V-Day with Shane not there.
You and I will have to be each other's Valentines! I think Mike is going down to LA for his neice's cheerleading competition (he's babysitting his mom) so I don't see him V-Day either. Oh, that sucks!!
Hey.. ask if you can use that plane ticket he was going to buy you to come see me! LOL I got a really comfy air-mattress and we can plot ways to screw with my neighbors (will have hopefully moved by then!). LOL...that would be fun!! The only saving grace it that it is a work week and I can just go to kickboxing.... that is if I can walk after that weekend before....hehehe OK, I'm starting to feel better...just needed to vent that one out BAD!!
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my boy is gonna be in Sudbury playing in a volley ball tournament so i won't be seeing him for valentines day either....he's gone from the 11th to the 16th
OK.... I guess we will all have to gather here on the 14th and keep eachother company.
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Oh even better suggestion! Tell him you'd like to fly your "friend" in from Las Vegas to spend the weekend with you. (forget the name! I'm sure you guys didn't.. LOL)
GREAT idea.... but it would be for the week not the weekend... and her name was Roxy!
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Quote:
Quote:
Oh even better suggestion! Tell him you'd like to fly your "friend" in from Las Vegas to spend the weekend with you. (forget the name! I'm sure you guys didn't.. LOL)
GREAT idea.... but it would be for the week not the weekend... and her name was Roxy!
Oooh that was it! I knew it had an 'x' in it! LOL True, wouldn't have to share with Shane!
Phew.. this post is starting to get R rated and going downhill fast...
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- Jennifer
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Oh Shell...
#142477 - 01/25/05 11:31 AM
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RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
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That really sucks!!! I'm so sorry! I went through this same type of thing this last year... Eric and I were married on Jan 9th and back from Jamaica on the 14th. Eric was gone out of town by the 16th and had to leave again after he got back from being away a week. And he was gone for another week. I couldn't help but cry... we were just married for crying out loud... how can they expect him to be gone already!
Anyway... I sympathize with you on this. You just want to scream and scream and scream at whoever is making those ugly, stupid decisions. As if he hasn't been gone long enough! And to top it off, on Valentine's Day! That's just cruel! Maybe you should DEMAND that you go with him!
HUGS Shell!!! I hope you can work something out!
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Shell...
#142486 - 01/25/05 11:41 AM
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khyricat
Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan
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all I can offer is lotsa hugs.. Bill was in Philly on work one year for V-day and didn't get to take me with him... you will make it through this, and you'll look back on this as a big hurdle you guys survived to a (hopefully) stronger relationship!
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Post deleted by Sara-Sage
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Shell,
You won't like this one bit, but I have learned that women need to be independant and make their own fun while their hubbies/BF's are away. You can't rely on him for all your entertainment and fun. No, I don't rely on him too much, I just miss him...and wanted to be together on Valentine's.
It hurts me to see you so miserable without him. You can be on your own and have your own fun and happiness. I do have my own.... I laugh and joke around all day......I have a very busy life. I've just had a streak of bad luck
My BF works every second weekend and at first I used to get very bored having to fill up a full weekend by myself.  I realized that I'd drive myself crazy if I let it. So I started making plans with friends and taking yoga and art classes. I joined a gym and used an afternoon to amek a new recipe of of my crazy vegetarian cookbook collection every second Sunday. Now I LIKE...LOVE... my time to myself. And I do have clingy tendencies. Oh, I read ya.... I'm at the gym 6 days a week...I take classes including Yogo on 5 of those days. I have projects around the house etc.....
You can't forget your friends when you're married as you need time away from your partner too. It's what makes you a healthy independant person.
I don't demand all his time and he let's me do what I want on my time. I used to go to Montreal every couple of months for the whole weekend to party with my best friend that lived there. He let me go and NEVER got jealous or asked me to stay home. You need to give people room to grow and breathe.
I want you to think about all this as I think you rely on him too much! No, really I don't.... and he is just as frustrated with being away as I am....it is one thing if it was just a week or even two...but by time this is all said and done it will have been six.
Please don't hate my advice. I am saying it because I want you to be happy. No, not at all... REALLY I AM A VERY HAPPY PERSON... I'm just able to vent here.... just like minutes ago I made a new post to share some GOOD NEWS..... I'm not a negative needy person AT ALL.
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Edited by Shell Marr (01/25/05 01:39 PM)
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Tina,
You may not like this one bit, but I felt the need to respond on Shell's behalf because she's a bit modest about some of her victories.
While that may be perfect advice for some normal couples, Shane and Shell are different. Shell has been through some tough times before and if it had been me that went through some of those things, I'd probably be in a looney bin somewhere.
I'm not sure if you were here when Shell shared her heoric story about being the victim of a serious stabbing and robbery when she worked at Burger King. The robber stabbed her over 20 times (I've seen the scars!).
You can read about her story here: web page
What amazes me is that she came out of it with a positive attitude. They both have gone through a lot, which is private and personal to them and those they chose to share it with. I don't blame Shell for missing Shane because I know that if I had been through that, met someone who made me feel safe and loved, and he had to go away for almost 2 months - I'd be sad, nervous, and scared all at once!
It also doesn't help that the first time Shell has to sleep alone in her apartment by herself with her hubby over 500 miles away is for almost 2 months!
There's a difference in your husband or signifigant other being away during the day and sleeping in an empty bed at night while they are over 500 miles away. If I were Shell and had been through all she had been through, I'd probably lock myself in my apartment and refuse to come out.
Sometimes a person just needs hugs and sympathy (i.e. scratched cars) when they chose to vent on the boards. Look at all of us who whine when we know we eat something we know we're not supposed to. That's what is so great about the boards.
I know you ment well with your advice, but please remember there is always a second viewpoint from where you are standing.
I want you to think about all this and please don't hate my advice. I am saying it because I want you to be able to help others be happy.
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- Jennifer
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Oh my gosh! No, I had no idea that happened.
Sorry Shell!!!!!
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Can we forget that I said any of it. I was WAY off!
Sorry!
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Webcam
#142589 - 01/25/05 02:16 PM
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TommyNY
Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 1530
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Shell, does your going to LA mean you don't want me to buy the webcam anymore? Ijust thought I would lighten the mood up a little...
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LOL!
#142594 - 01/25/05 02:20 PM
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I got a couple extra webcams laying around.. I can start shipping them to you people!
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- Jennifer
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Quote:
Can we forget that I said any of it. I was WAY off!
Sorry!
Consider it done!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
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Shell, does your going to LA mean you don't want me to buy the webcam anymore? Ijust thought I would lighten the mood up a little...
LOL.... Oh, I'll still have one in LA... LOL Shane has to go to the bathroom sometimes.... hehehe
THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS Tommy!!
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Re: LOL!
#142602 - 01/25/05 02:33 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Quote:
I got a couple extra webcams laying around.. I can start shipping them to you people!
LOL We need to get Kandee one!! LOL
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Hey y'all,
I feel the need to step in here as the moderator of this board and as friends with y'all!
I can see both sides of the story here.
I can't say I've been stabbed...but I've been sexually and other kinds of abused. And I have had friends say things similiar to what Tina said to Shell.
That being said...I see both sides! Tina has learned a lot in her life and she wanted to share her growth with a friend in the hopes that it might help her out. Shell is hurt because she is SO NOT what Tina was suggesting she might be.
The bottom line is: Shell is lucky to have a friend who cares enough about her to share her experience even though she was scared it might hurt her friend in the CHANCE that it would help her in some way.
On the other hand: It can be very hurtful to learn that soemone thinks you are fragile and not independent. Especially someone you care about.
I just hope that everyone learns something from this:
We cannot judge another until we are in their shoes! But sometimes...we need to say something to someone we love JUST IN CASE it might help them out.
You are all VERY SPECIAL good people. Thank you for being on these boards!
PLEASE forgive me for sharing my opinion on this...it hurts me to see people hurting! *hugs* I needed to do so on the CHANCE that it might put things in a brighter perspective. If it didn't, please disregard my message!
I love you both!
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Quote:
Hey y'all,
I feel the need to step in here as the moderator of this board and as friends with y'all!
I can see both sides of the story here.
I can't say I've been stabbed...but I've been sexually and other kinds of abused. And I have had friends say things similiar to what Tina said to Shell.
That being said...I see both sides! Tina has learned a lot in her life and she wanted to share her growth with a friend in the hopes that it might help her out. Shell is hurt because she is SO NOT what Tina was suggesting she might be.
The bottom line is: Shell is lucky to have a friend who cares enough about her to share her experience even though she was scared it might hurt her friend in the CHANCE that it would help her in some way.
On the other hand: It can be very hurtful to learn that soemone thinks you are fragile and not independent. Especially someone you care about.
I just hope that everyone learns something from this:
We cannot judge another until we are in their shoes! But sometimes...we need to say something to someone we love JUST IN CASE it might help them out.
You are all VERY SPECIAL good people. Thank you for being on these boards!
PLEASE forgive me for sharing my opinion on this...it hurts me to see people hurting! *hugs* I needed to do so on the CHANCE that it might put things in a brighter perspective. If it didn't, please disregard my message!
I love you both!
Ruchie
AAAwwwhhh..... Ruchie.... very good points and thank you for your concern and post.... you are a sweetheart. I have NO hard feelings toward Tina at all....she just did not know my past just like I don't know hers...and it means a lot that she did take the time out to voice her thoughts.
Thanks Jen..... 
NOW....As Shane would say, "It's ALL Good!!"
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I ditto Shell. All was taken care of and there's no hard feelings. We're big kids and appreciate you trying to resolve it. Sorry we beat you to it!
P.S. Stick around! We needed your moderator powers a couple months ago on some pretty heated issues...
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- Jennifer
Edited by Jennifer Rose (01/25/05 02:47 PM)
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Well said Ruchie!!! Thanks for giving your input.
I have learned a lot about you Shell and really admire all you've gone through. I had no idea and will not make such strong statements on this board again without knowing a person all that well. I was trying to help.
Anyhow, I am so sorry and feel like a huge MORON.
Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell - Sorry Shell -
Does that help at all?
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks sweetie.
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((Tina))
I feel like you didn't understand what I was saying! I think you have a LOT of courage for putting yourself out on a limb like that to help a friend! And Shell accepts your apology 100%...she said so in a post I read a minute ago :-)
We love you (((Tina)))
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ok thanks Ruchie.
Sometimes I get in trouble for saying what I think. Thanks for the compliment. Yes, I was trying to help her from things I've learned.
You're so sweet Ruchie!
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((Tina))
I have a good friend like you! :-) She says what's on her mind. In the beginning of our friendship...that hurt me! Until I learned it came from her heart, a desire to help me be the best me I can be, and a cultural difference. NOW I LOVE that she's so open with me! I know I can count on her to tell me what she thinks even if she's not always RIGHT It's just great knowing she will let me know if I'm acting childish or if she disagrees with what I say/do. We're VERY close for it!
I guess that's why I saw both sides...since having her for a firend I can see her side AND mine! I don't think there's a right or a wrong...just as long as the intent is right. I think being friends with one another has helped both of us grow! I am less sensitive and she is more sensative!
Ok, I've rambled enough I'm glad you here where I'm coming from now! And that you took this as a learning expreience! You rock!
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thanks Ruchie. I also value immensely friends that can "tell me like it is". (Not at all implying that I was doing that to Shell). This is not about that anymore.
I like people to be 100% honest and straight forward. I tend to have no patience for people who can't be straight with me. I tell people to say what's on their mind and that I can take it. Maybe that's how I became like this.
But ya, I have to realize that I'm not always right and sometimes things can come out sounding hurtful, harsh or mean. I don't think I have a mean bone in my little old body to be honest. Well, only for GG.
Take care!
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Ack! If it was any other guy, I would be mad, too! But we even though i don't *know* Shane, I do know that if any hubby/BF wanted to be with his girl on V-Day. it would be him! Most guys don't get into it anymore, though.
It took some convincing to get across to my BF that even if he believes it is something blown out of proportion by the greeting card companines, he NEEDs to atleast pretend to like it and take me out to dinner or something to keep me happy! Not like he wouldn't get anything out of it...
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-Sheri
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