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Oh man, it better be an AWESOME gift that the company pays for! BIG hugs for you, Shell! I know how much of a bummer it's going to be on V-Day with Shane not there. 
You and I will have to be each other's Valentines! I think Mike is going down to LA for his neice's cheerleading competition (he's babysitting his mom) so I don't see him V-Day either.  Oh, that sucks!!
Hey.. ask if you can use that plane ticket he was going to buy you to come see me! LOL I got a really comfy air-mattress and we can plot ways to screw with my neighbors (will have hopefully moved by then!). LOL...that would be fun!! The only saving grace it that it is a work week and I can just go to kickboxing.... that is if I can walk after that weekend before....hehehe OK, I'm starting to feel better...just needed to vent that one out BAD!!
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my boy is gonna be in Sudbury playing in a volley ball tournament so i won't be seeing him for valentines day either....he's gone from the 11th to the 16th
OK.... I guess we will all have to gather here on the 14th and keep eachother company.
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Oh even better suggestion! Tell him you'd like to fly your "friend" in from Las Vegas to spend the weekend with you.  (forget the name! I'm sure you guys didn't.. LOL)
GREAT idea.... but it would be for the week not the weekend... and her name was Roxy!  
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Oh even better suggestion! Tell him you'd like to fly your "friend" in from Las Vegas to spend the weekend with you. (forget the name! I'm sure you guys didn't.. LOL)
GREAT idea.... but it would be for the week not the weekend... and her name was Roxy!
Oooh that was it! I knew it had an 'x' in it! LOL True, wouldn't have to share with Shane!
Phew.. this post is starting to get R rated and going downhill fast...
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- Jennifer
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Oh Shell...
#142477 - 01/25/05 11:31 AM
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RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
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That really sucks!!! I'm so sorry! I went through this same type of thing this last year... Eric and I were married on Jan 9th and back from Jamaica on the 14th. Eric was gone out of town by the 16th and had to leave again after he got back from being away a week. And he was gone for another week. I couldn't help but cry... we were just married for crying out loud... how can they expect him to be gone already!
Anyway... I sympathize with you on this. You just want to scream and scream and scream at whoever is making those ugly, stupid decisions. As if he hasn't been gone long enough! And to top it off, on Valentine's Day! That's just cruel! Maybe you should DEMAND that you go with him!
HUGS Shell!!! I hope you can work something out!
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Shell...
#142486 - 01/25/05 11:41 AM
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khyricat
Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan
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all I can offer is lotsa hugs.. Bill was in Philly on work one year for V-day and didn't get to take me with him... you will make it through this, and you'll look back on this as a big hurdle you guys survived to a (hopefully) stronger relationship!
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Shell,
You won't like this one bit, but I have learned that women need to be independant and make their own fun while their hubbies/BF's are away. You can't rely on him for all your entertainment and fun. No, I don't rely on him too much, I just miss him...and wanted to be together on Valentine's.
It hurts me to see you so miserable without him. You can be on your own and have your own fun and happiness. I do have my own.... I laugh and joke around all day......I have a very busy life. I've just had a streak of bad luck
My BF works every second weekend and at first I used to get very bored having to fill up a full weekend by myself.  I realized that I'd drive myself crazy if I let it. So I started making plans with friends and taking yoga and art classes. I joined a gym and used an afternoon to amek a new recipe of of my crazy vegetarian cookbook collection every second Sunday. Now I LIKE...LOVE... my time to myself.  And I do have clingy tendencies. Oh, I read ya.... I'm at the gym 6 days a week...I take classes including Yogo on 5 of those days. I have projects around the house etc.....
You can't forget your friends when you're married as you need time away from your partner too. It's what makes you a healthy independant person.
I don't demand all his time and he let's me do what I want on my time. I used to go to Montreal every couple of months for the whole weekend to party with my best friend that lived there. He let me go and NEVER got jealous or asked me to stay home. You need to give people room to grow and breathe.
I want you to think about all this as I think you rely on him too much! No, really I don't.... and he is just as frustrated with being away as I am....it is one thing if it was just a week or even two...but by time this is all said and done it will have been six.
Please don't hate my advice. I am saying it because I want you to be happy. No, not at all... REALLY I AM A VERY HAPPY PERSON... I'm just able to vent here.... just like minutes ago I made a new post to share some GOOD NEWS..... I'm not a negative needy person AT ALL.
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Edited by Shell Marr (01/25/05 01:39 PM)
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Tina,
You may not like this one bit, but I felt the need to respond on Shell's behalf because she's a bit modest about some of her victories.
While that may be perfect advice for some normal couples, Shane and Shell are different. Shell has been through some tough times before and if it had been me that went through some of those things, I'd probably be in a looney bin somewhere.
I'm not sure if you were here when Shell shared her heoric story about being the victim of a serious stabbing and robbery when she worked at Burger King. The robber stabbed her over 20 times (I've seen the scars!).
You can read about her story here: web page
What amazes me is that she came out of it with a positive attitude. They both have gone through a lot, which is private and personal to them and those they chose to share it with. I don't blame Shell for missing Shane because I know that if I had been through that, met someone who made me feel safe and loved, and he had to go away for almost 2 months - I'd be sad, nervous, and scared all at once!
It also doesn't help that the first time Shell has to sleep alone in her apartment by herself with her hubby over 500 miles away is for almost 2 months!
There's a difference in your husband or signifigant other being away during the day and sleeping in an empty bed at night while they are over 500 miles away. If I were Shell and had been through all she had been through, I'd probably lock myself in my apartment and refuse to come out.
Sometimes a person just needs hugs and sympathy (i.e. scratched cars) when they chose to vent on the boards. Look at all of us who whine when we know we eat something we know we're not supposed to. That's what is so great about the boards.
I know you ment well with your advice, but please remember there is always a second viewpoint from where you are standing.
I want you to think about all this and please don't hate my advice. I am saying it because I want you to be able to help others be happy.
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- Jennifer
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