A good Monday morning laugh!
#141786 - 01/24/05 06:54 AM
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Welcome to the Public Health - Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
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If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social insurance number and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please press 9. If you have short term memory loss, please press 9. If you have short term memory loss, please press 9. If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are far too busy to talk to you.
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TOO funny! Thanks for sharing, Tina. 
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- Jennifer
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No problem. 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hah! The awful part is that I can relate to some of those.  Too funny!
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Oh really! 
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How funny!
#142167 - 01/24/05 06:27 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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As a former Psychology major, it really made me laugh!!!
Thanks for sharing, Tina!!! Can always use a good chuckle.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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