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Dogs and Cats
      #141542 - 01/23/05 02:13 PM
AmandaPanda, J.D.

Reged: 04/26/04
Posts: 1490
Loc: New York, New York

Subject: Pet Diaries
A Dog's Diary

7am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!

9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!

1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

3pm - Oh Boy! Animal Planet! My favorite!

4pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!

5pm - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!

7pm - Oh Boy! Playing with my "baby"! My favorite!

9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Dana's bed! My favorite!



A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and commented about what a good little kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was because of my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....










--------------------
Amanda

I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin

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I love that! Thanks for the laugh Panda! nt new
      #141543 - 01/23/05 02:16 PM

Unregistered






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Oh, soooooooooooo true! new
      #141582 - 01/23/05 03:51 PM
ptillen

Reged: 06/27/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Milwaukee WI

Cause you know what they say, dogs have owners, cats have staff.

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I think that's why I'm a dog person! new
      #141599 - 01/23/05 04:06 PM
Augie

Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois

Thanks for the chuckle!

--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!

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lol new
      #141601 - 01/23/05 04:11 PM
Cara4503

Reged: 03/20/04
Posts: 1844


Yeah...definate dog person here too Not that I don't like cats....I just had to babysit one once when I was younger and it bit my toe and wouldn't let go!! Now I have a fear of them - lol, won't ever have one!

--------------------
~Cara~


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Re: lol new
      #141605 - 01/23/05 04:17 PM
Augie

Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois

I used to babysit for a family that had a cat and as soon as I put the kids to bed, that cat would attack me!! I'm talking hissing and clawing me.

Needless to say, that family lost me as a baby sitter!!

--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!

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You should meet my cat- he thinks he's a dog!! -nt- new
      #141617 - 01/23/05 04:58 PM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439




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