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Happily, after decades of apartment dwelling, I finally am a homeowner (and therefore have not too much compunction about telling my tenants to keep it down ) What say you to this? Quote:
Excerpt from The Highly Sensitive Person Survival Guide
My Neighbors Are Driving Me Crazy: What Can I Do? (Questions from "How to Deal with Difficult Situations")
Q; I have a neighbor who was very noisy and we got into quite a battle over his loud music that he refused to turn down. After the manager made him turn down his music, he ended up moving to another apartment in the same building, but whenever I see him he always gives me dirty looks which really irritates me. What can I do to make him stop?
A; Although your neighbor may have been 99 % at fault in the disagreement for not turning down his music, if you were a non-HSP you may not have been bothered by the noise. You were likely angry when you told him to turn down the music or when you reported him to the manager. He may have felt attacked by you. He was the one who had to leave his home due to your demands. I recommend that you either tell him or write him a note using the 1% apology technique. Apologize for your 1% responsibility of the dispute. Tell him that if you didn't have a sensitivity to noise, there wouldn't have been a dispute and apologize for any inconvenience that you caused him. The chances are high that if you apologize, he will eventually stop giving you dirty looks and both of you will feel more at peace.
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Lucky you!!!
About the Q & Q. While that makes sense, to me, it would make the person even more defensive and angry if I admitted that I was overly sensitive to noise.
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Well he's a pig then. I do feel like it kinda puts one in a funny position to say "I'm highly sensitive"... it's like you're putting on airs or something, know what I mean? Reading these books makes it clear that it really is just a slight difference in the way people are built, but I know that some are just gonna ridicule when you try to say these things to them. >sigh!< I offer my sympathy. I remember many a sleepless night while some lout was thumping out loud obnoxious music. And it would never be nice music either, not Debussy, always Guns & Roses or something. Then there was the landlord that sold our parking spaces (that we payed him for) on July 3-4 to fireworks viewers. and informed us we couldn't use our spaces on those two nights. GODD!
I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore. As my mother says, your day will come. I rejoice in my karmic opportunity to be a really nice landlord now.
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Here's a short but very informative article- The Plight of the Empath or Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
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Oh yes, my day will come. I have the perfect house in my head too. It will be a small bungalow with 2 bathroom, 3-4 bedroom, a finished basement and a backyard. I will do tons of gardening too! I want to have a yoga/meditation room that's just for me to enjoy thr peace and quiet!
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Thanks so much for all this info Paula.
I will go look for this book (The Highly Sensitive Person)at Chapters this week.
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-------------------- -Sheri
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Count me in! I can't even go into Mejiers for grocery shopping because its too "busy." I get all worked up. I don't do well in crowded places, I hate loud music, I'm forever turning the TV down. I like being by myself. In fact, I work alone all day most days in my office without even turning on a radio! People ask me how I can stand the quiet and they don't believe me when I tell them I like it!! My mom used to tease me because I would cry at tv commercials! My shrink is helping me to learn to let things goes easier but we haven't made much progress on being less sensative!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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I always turn the tv down too! Infact, my boyfriend gives me the remote with the volume control (we have two remotes) so I can turn it up or down depending on commercials, etc. Btw, commercials are the worst!
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Oh yeah, don't get me started on those darn commercials!! We also have two remotes and I'm really quick on that mute button for the commercails! My hubby keeps telling me he is going to install a compressor on the sound so the volume will remain the same. I guess some of the new, expensive TV's already come with a compresser built in! I really think there should be a law about the volume level on different TV programs!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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