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I read your post with trepidation because I think my problem is similar. Only diff is, I can afford to lose extra weight since I was over 300 when I first adopted the IBS eating plan combined with exercise.
Before I found Heather's book, I suspected but did not KNOW that what I was eating was giving me the severe IBS-D attacks I'd had all my life, since age 16. I kept trying to figure out what if anything, I ate was doing it.
But when I got heather's book, it all came together in my mind. Thing is, now I have a genuine fear of food. Since almost anything at the wrong time can trigger IBS, I developed a fear of food, often convincing myself I am not hungry or dont need to eat. My personal trainer ordered me to set a timer and eat what he tells me to, at the time the ringer goes off. That's how bad it is for me. He told me to make a list of the safest IBS foods, and eat only those until I can feel safe with other stuff.
I wish you the best, because I know just what you're going through ((((HUGS!))))
Anita
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"A waist is a terrible thing to mind".
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Michelle, i know how it feels with the unwanted weight loss thing. I went from 114 to 100 to 90 in january.It was so upsetting because alot of people passed my ibs off as me being anorexic!! It was hard, and i hate to make my family be dissapointed in me cause i lost so much weight. THank God, I straightened myself out and i now weigh 107. Im still going strong! Never give up hope!! 
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-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name
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Dear Michelle,
"but in some ways I still think I "did it to myself" by getting so worked up about everything I was expected to accomplish, and by the pressure I put on myself to do it all completely without help and perfectly, with no problems".
I feel like learning this sentence off by heart, it describes in such perfect words how it all started for me, too. Why do so many women get caught in this same old trap?? Why do we always have to MOVE around when we have little children, leaving our infrastructure behind? And why do we behave as if coping with little babies all on our own and without any hickups is the normal thing to be expected?? This is exactly how my IBS got started (in the US actually), I've only got two kids but once they were bigger I got myself into the next trap, trying to be a successful WORKING mom....
I can relate to the weight issue - I'm shocked sometimes when I realise that, secretly, I appreciate my thin, transparent looks, even though I know that I should definitely put on a few pounds. But thank God I'm past the 'fear of food' stage, and I got to the point where I absolutely HATED the feeling of wasting away, and I do cling to my safe foods and eat all the time even if it's only rice cakes most of the time....
I'd like to reassure you, I've got anorexic people in my family (one has actually died of it), and the one, terrible, thing about them is that they can NEVER admit their problem to themselves. So, you might have looked into the abism there but you've stepped back from it and you're already on the way of getting better! I'm absolutely sure of it!
Susaloh
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Wow, Michelle, you have so much to be proud of!! The baby-toddler years ARE hard, as is moving. To do both is very stressful and to have the gastro problems on top of it - again, wow! It seems like we've all identified a common psychological bond as an IBS group which is that perfectionist tendency. I imagine you have done everything beautifully - give yourself a pat on the back!
As for the (near?) eating disorder, it sounds like you have been honest with yourself and your doctor before it got too far as a behavioral habit that you can't undo. Take it a day (a meal, if necessary) at a time and you'll get there. Your faith, family, and friends (including us!) will help. Hang in there and thanks for the courage you showed in being so forthcoming.
God bless, Andie
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Michelle,
Well done for seeking help, that's usually the hardest part. I can relate to you a little. I also lost a lot of weight because of this IBS and in one way I have to admit I enjoyed it even though I knew I was underweight. It just felt good to at least be nice and thin when every other part of me was uncomfotable and painful. It was the one thing I could be happy about I guess.
Unfortunately I believe it made my infertility problems worse. I have put some weight back on now and am a lot healthier looking I believe. Sometimes I get annoyed because the "thin" clothes I had bought are now getting too tight but I know it's better for me.
Anyway, good luck and I'll be thinking of you!
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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hi; BOY!! I WISH I COULD LOSE SOME WEIGHT. MINE SEEMS TO STAY THE SAME!
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Michelle,
You brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for being honest with yourself and the board and your Doctor. You won't regret it and it is a hard cycle to break. Sounds like you have yourself a good support system and that is great!! Big cheers to your Husband for taking that scale away!! 
Having three kids in less than four years is hard work and to be in a new place doesn't make it easier. I was there four years ago with a baby, 1 1/2 year old and three year old. We moved to Austin, TX for three years and our family was all in WI. I understand it feels really lonely. Look for a local MOP'S (mothers of preschoolers) in your area. You can find a location by going to MOPS.org. It was a lifesaver for me in TX. The group is probably finishing up, but ask them if they have play groups you can get involved in for the summer. You need adult time with other moms. Also if you can find a babysitter through your church have a sitter come one day a week for a morning or afternoon so you can get away for time just for you.
Hope this helps. Hugs to you and I will keep praying for you.
Barbara
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