a little blue now..
#208300 - 08/24/05 10:08 PM
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hi friends--
i just saw hilary duff on jay leno. shes lost weight  and she has red nails--so i think she has an eating disorder too--just like all the other hollywood teens that are pictured everywhere possible. *sigh* i feel so bad about myself now  my nails are red and i still look the same
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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Oh honey
#208303 - 08/24/05 10:17 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hilary Duff? Oy, you don't need to be modeling yourself after a pop princess!!
Honey, red nails or not I'm sure you look great. And you don't need to be wanting to look like someone with an EATING DISORDER, if she does indeed have one. Be thankful you are not in an industry that makes it seem like a positive thing to starve yourself and end up looking sick, and skeletal.
Look at that Lindsey Lohan girl, she used to look beautiful. Then she OBVIOUSLY starved herself, and now I think she looks disgusting.
Be proud of who you are!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Ashley,
Hugs. As a former anorectic, now orthorexic, I send you strength, courage and bravery. I just ended up turning into a health nut! Perhaps focus on health and radiance and the spiritual/political aspects of veganism/organic food versus the need to be a living skeleton? Maybe manipulate your motive, your drive, your purpose?
Don't laugh--I don't know who Hilary Duff is!
Kate, IBS-D (almost A).
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Hilary Duff is just another in a long line of bland, talentless, TOO thin Hollywood girls... and you KNOW you're prettier, smarter, and just plain BETTER than that anyway. *hugs*
I know how you feel sometimes, though. The price of my IBS stabilizing has been to balloon up to 150lbs and a size 10. I'm not happy about it, but ultimately, it's worth it to not be as sick as I was when I was anorexic. And yes, I've been THERE a few times in my life, and trust me, you'd rather eat.
Every time I get feeling bad about my weight, Adam points out that no guy with a half a brain thinks a bag of bones is sexy. Not that we do this for the guys, but... you know.
*hugs* I know it's tough, but you're beautiful just as you are.
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Trust me, a "BOB" (bag of bones) is not sexy! Indeed, you don't have much of a sex drive if you're a BOB! (They used to call me "BOB" in my anorectic daze. It's short for "bag of bones!)
Kate.
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You know, I almost came back to edit my post, because I was worried about offending thin people. But there's a HUGE difference between being a healthy thin person who eats, and an anorexic... bag of bones.  To me, that's what all those Hollywood girls look like. Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Richie are SCARY... they look like they've been rescued from a concentration camp.
Nobody called me a bag of bones back when I was, but I knew I was anyway. I hardly had the energy to get out of bed, much less have sex. Yeah, that's sexy.
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huh?
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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i understand how you feel. i live in new york city, and see girls like that all the time - i go out to buy shampoo in my sloppy jeans, and on the way i pass a dozen super-skinny, dressed-to-the-nines, perfectly-done-up little girls. it's so hard to remember that that's just not how we are, it's not what's healthy for us. (this sounds like the same old love-yourself jargon as i'm typing it, but it's true... and i need to hear it, too.)
i have so much respect for you, that you eat vegan and organic - you obviously care very much about your body, what you put in it and how you treat it. i think you should be proud of yourself for taking such good, healthy care of your body and yourself.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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aww
#208456 - 08/25/05 09:54 AM
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wow thank you jaime??
i hate how our culture seems to revolve around everything in hollywood. and everyone in hollywood is thin as a stick!! it just bothers me b/c as soon as theyre done talking about 1 teen queen theres another one that needs to be gossiped about too.
i cant believe how much people reply about my diet! it means so much to hear that my diet is so well-respected. that makes me feel so happy since my parents arent really for it. i finally feel like im doing something right! thanks again for the reply 
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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thanks casey  youre such a great friend!
i just wish the world changes its perspective on things. i wish it would stop looking so intimately on hollywood b/c its really effecting alot of other things that they really cant see right now.
is adam your BF?? my BF always tells me im beautiful. its just that while ive been IBS-ing, i feel like i wasted all my thin days, when i wasnt bloated. iwish i could have unbloated days so i could wear my cute clothes instead of longer layers to hide my tummy. but youre right, i know it will get better and id rather eat the healthy yummy treats at whole foods. thanks hun! *HUGS BACK*
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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yah i used to get teased too. and those times i didnt have a problem!! i was just naturally really really thin. but the IBS has kicked that up and i just wish it would go back to normal. i tell myself sometimes its just a phase and that my bloating will go down but it never does. grr---there was this girl in my HS that was really thin and tan and blonde and all the guys would always talk about how thin and perfect she was and it made me sick b/c she looked like a witch with a hook-nose!
hey ive actually been meaning to ask you...i always read your food posts and love love love! the green-veggie purees you make. which green ones do you primarily choose? when i was in europe, my BFs aunt made pureed spinich using soymilk and little olive oil and flour and it was SO GOOD! i was thinking using that recipe would be a good way to make sure i get all the vitamins in veggies that dont usually get obtained. any tips?? thanks kate im sorry about your nasty BOB comments  people can be evil
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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thanks a bunch kate i actually have a burning urge to learn more--and i have made it one of my goals!! i actually would like to have a little vegan/organic cafe in europe w/all the little cakes and pastries in traditional cafes. i want to have cafe alaits and cappacinos and fresh juices and smoothies and all that fun stuff. when i think about that and what I could accomplish, i feel great! i love to cook and think about cooking b/c its something im creating. i love making vegan "mock" dishes instead of real ones and having friends try the difference. i love to talk about all the alternative ways of eating b/c so many people dont know about it. i feel very wise almost sometimes about it. but youre right! ill try more to focus on that.
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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thanks steph
you dont think theyre pretty? maybe its the airbrush or something but i think they look prettier then they used to maybe thats shallow of me but when theyre all sparkly in the magazines and stuff its really hard to feel okay about myself even though i know its all fake anyway. i guess its the fact that its right there--BAM--in the face for us to see and its like you cant look away. i really used to like hilary duff b/c she wasnt a teen queen whore like the rest of them seem to be but now shes thin which says shes basically no better then the rest of them. but now she looks prettier too 
the thing about europe is theres no sleezy tabloids to get caught up in. thanks stephie
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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I agree with Stephie that I don't think these girls have gotten any prettier by losing weight. Their eyes look dull, their hair looks limp--they don't look like the strong young women they were, instead they look, in a way, pre-pubescent. And their heads look HUGE.
You're right though, Little Bear, that we see them so often that we get use to how they look and think that's the "right" way to look. Whatever standards they feel they have to live up to is obviously making them lose the core of who they are. Beauty isn't fancy pictures or stick thin legs, it's the whole package--how you carry yourself, your personality, your individual style, your overall healthiness and well-being.
Please take care of yourself, Little Bear.
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glamour magazine (which is seriously the healthiest fashion mag to read, and cares - even if it's a marketing ploy - about making women feel good about themselves) has a really neat article this month about airbrushing, where they show before and afters of it. i knew airbrushing was major, but i had no idea.
(my roommate subscribes to the new yorker, newsweek, rolling stone, spin, and the economist... i get glamour and time out new york. i let this be amusing rather than anything else.  glamour is total fluff, but it's encouraging fluff with pictures of pretty clothes.)
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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I feel the same way you do Ashley *hugs*
Thin is better.
Esp. since my hubby thought I looked better at 110 lbs than I do now at 135 lbs (I am 5'5 and a half). I DO need to work out to look better. BUT he thinks I looked GREAT when I was underweight HE is so influenced by the media (even though we don't own a television anymore!) and by what he sees in his office and walking down the streets...of course he wants me to look like a BOB
I have no IDEA how to deal with this! Maybe I should speak to my therapist about it?
I honestly WANT to eat what my body wants and leave the rest and not worry about it!
sigh
I think thinner looks better as it is what I was taught at home and in the media and from the women walking down the street. VERY upsetting....but I look at the stars in the mags waiting to buy my groceries and also think thinner looks better
What can we do to CHANGE this....obviously we must begin with ourselves...anyone have any thoughts on how Ashley and I can CHANGE oursleves...reprogram?
Thanks for sharing...I'm proud of you and your honesty...you rock! Love, Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Who wants to cuddle with a BOB?
I think this would be a good issue to discuss with your therapist. Maybe she can provide a reason why this belief isn't correct. Or maybe to start you can ask yourself Why do you think thinner is better? Does this belief hurt or help your well-being? What does it mean to be thin? Does it mean people will like you better? Does it automatically make you better than other people? And what do you consider thin? When you look at other women, what do you consider beautiful? Who are the most beautiful women you know in real life? What makes you admire them?
Now, does your DH prefer you to be thinner because he thinks you look better or was your attitude different when you're thinner? Maybe back then you were more comfortable with yourself and that confidence is what attracted him.
Sorry if I've butted in on this discussion, but I think I look good when I FEEL good. Well, now I'm going to worry about you two. Both of your personalities sparkle through your posts, so I already think you're beautiful!
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I've always been relatively thin but that doesn't mean I haven't ever felt "heavy" or bloated or just not thin enough..particularly regarding my stomach area. And yeah, I read all the magazines and watch all the shows and that doesn't help! But...as I've gotten older (I'm 28.75), and it's gotten harder to lose weight, I've gotten more comfortable with my body and how it is. It doesn't hurt that I'm married to a man who is constantly complimenting me. So I tell myself---we'll, HE likes it, why shouldn't I? Another thing that helps---I'm wanting to have kids soon--REAL soon, and I know that being ultra thin isn't going to help that. It helps me keep perspective and to understand the difference between healthy and skinny for the sake of being skinny, you know? I exercise regularly and eat well and as long as I keep that up, no matter what my weight, I feel good. Plus, I remind myself---if I lose too much weight, I'll lose what boobs I have. Ok, that's dumb but you take the good with the bad right???
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I wish I weighed 135 again. When I did everyone thought I was too thin. I had no boobs, no ass, and a tiny waist. My legs were heavy, but they were when I was a kid, too.
The only way we will get rid of all the "skinny" glamour is to not buy into it. Don't buy the magazines, demand larger size clothes are made attractive and look up to some of the more normal looking people in the media. Oprah was popular before she lost weight. I get so mad when I see ads for clothes that are modeled by 12 year olds made up to look older.
We'll have to start a line of clothes for bloat bellies. Pants that dip lower in the front and pretty long blouses that flair in the front. I think I just described maternity clothes LOL
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Hmmm...how to change/reprogram?
1. There is always the therapy thing. That really doesn't help long-term, though and certainly not on its own.
2. Drugs. Yes, these help. The anorexia thing is totally obsessive and causes such psychic anxiety. I take Buspar and WOW what a difference.
3. Focus on the positive side of being food obsessed--become ORTHOREXIC, or a health nut. Get passionate about a cause related to food or cooking or exercise/fitness, politics, animal rights, poverty, the environment. It's a shift in focus. Choose exercise that is grounding, i.e. yoga, swimming--gentle stuff, stuff that's good for the nerves. For awhile, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. That really really helped me alot. Play Eleanor Roosevelt.
4. Meditate.
That's all I can think of at the moment. This is what's helped me. The in-patient program only got me to a level of physical health.
Kate, IBS-D--nearly "stable."
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I love it!!! I can hear the music in the background already!
Such glorious conversations to overhear. Ashley, you'd be a genius at creating atmosphere and health-nutty vegan delights to keep the juices flowing.
I know you're hyper-body conscious. Just be a health nut, organic vegan that you are! Focus on the fun, the creativity, the feeling awesome--everything will balance out/fall into place naturally. You're going to be fine. Seeing a therapist to turn your obsession into something positive and profitable, if possible would be a great idea.
Personally, once I get a grip on my GAD and my exceptionally low self-esteem I REALLY want to be a Holistic Health Practitioner. I doubt that it will happen, though. I figure this is just another wasteland (a la T.S. Eliot) of a lifetime. So, indeed, I have given up dreaming and desiring and wanting. I'll just be a member of life's 'peanut gallery' and do my time because it is nature's course.
Kate, IBS-D--nearly stable.
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Not even slightly. And it makes me angry (not at you, hon but in general) that they are getting positively reinforced that being THAT thin is the way to be.
Let me set one thing straight - Hillary Duff is thin. She has always been thin. Same with people like Lindsay Lohan and Terry Hatcher all the rest of them. They are skinnier than the majority of North American women will ever, ever be.
What they turn themselves into after that is not THIN it is SICK.
I know that it happens, but I just cannot believe that anyone can look at their thinning or fake hair, pointy shoulders and sunken faces and think, "Yeah! Thats what I want to look like!". That is not what a human body is supposed to look like. Whoever said they looked like they had been rescued from a concentration camp hit it right on the mark - they look like they are being tortured, not that they are healthy young women.
For every post you got back to you that said they felt the same way, it really gave me a sick sinking feeling.
I appreciate women who look HEALTHY. Who obviously take care of their bodies, who looked toned but have obviously not only eaten a grape and a stick of celery for 5 days. I wish that was the body image that was being promoted.
The longer women ooh and ahh over girls who look like they are so unhealthy, the more women will become unhealthy. Moreover, the more YOUNG GIRLS who will follow suit.. and they will just keep getting younger.
I really hope that you can find a way to appreciate your body for the temple that it is and in turn treat it with kindness and respect - not torture it to look like impossible airbrushed images of girls who will probably in 10 years time be on Barbara Walters (or whatever) talking about their struggles with eating disorders.
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I agree with you steph Teri Hatcher is disgusting!!!
I actually recently saw something on hillary duff in a magazine and she claims she hasn't dieted for a second! I don't buy that one bit. She has dropped alot of weight, and to be honest, at her heaviest she was a size 4 or 6 at the most which is skinny skinny skinny for an american woman!!!
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