Back again
#125509 - 11/26/04 02:01 PM
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lithelady
Reged: 08/15/03
Posts: 339
Loc: Novato, CA
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Hi,
I'm going to do my best to participate on these boards more often. I've not been able to stabilize for more than a few days ever since last May when I had an extremely stressful 3 week business trip. It feels to me like that trip made my C-IBS even worse than it already was! Has anyone ever had this happen?
So anyway, seems like every time I start to do join in here, within a short time I have another bad period of lots of bloating, pain and severe constipation. Then I feel so awful and get so bummed out that I have no enthusiasm for cooking or baking, both of which I like to do, let alone being online. So, I'm hoping that making myself stay more involved here will help me during my ongoing repeated"down" episodes.
Also, I'm getting so tired of eating the same foods day after day. I've lost 12 Ibs since last July and I was already thin [I'm now 5'9 and 122]. All my friends are concerned but they say that they just can't deal with preparing food per this diet when I visit; they all say it's much too complicated. Even worse, if we go out a number of them have said that they think I've become neurotic about how I eat and that's why I'm having all my problems!! Of course, these reactions are adding to my feeling very discouraged and it's not helping my social life at all. I basically don't do anything unless I can bring my own food! Is this how others' friends react??? 
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Many years of C-IBS and pain too for past 2 years-
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Nice friends! Alot of people have trouble with this diet, but the trick is to point out to them how much you CAN eat. So instead of a list of no-no's, if you're going round to someone's for dinner, ask them what they're making and see if you could have it without the cheese sauce/butter/fries... Or invite people round to yours and wow them with some of Heather's recipes!
Eating out is also very possible - if you're worried, all that's needed is a bit of planning. Check out the restaurant beforehand or sourec good restaurants and suggest them. Find something on the menu that you can eat or ring them up and find out if they can do stuff without the sauces, of with a side order from another dish, etc. Most places will be more than happy to help. And if it's that kind of place, when you make the booking, ask them to note that you'd like WHITE bread on the table when you arrive.
Sticking around here certainly helped me get through bad stages! I know what it's like when you feel awful and the last thing you want to do is has to be inventive in the kitchen. But it's worth it! Even if you devote a Saturday afternoon (when you'll be less tired) to trying stuff out.
Stress affects everyones' IBS. Peroids of stress certainly make me alot worse. Have you considered hypno, yoga or anti-anxiety meds to help you control this factor?
Good luck! There really is life after IBS you know!
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Txs for your thoughts Linz. I own Mike Mahoney's tapes and have done the full course of 100 days twice, once Autumn of 2003 and again this past summer. It does seem to help. The thing that gets me down so much [other than the intermittent pain and almost daily challenge of getting completely cleaned out so that I'm not feeling constipated all day] is how much this has ruined my ability to socialize.
That's why I asked specifically if others on this board had had similar lack of cooperation from friends. My friends DO empathize with my problem but no one else has any health problems that affect his/her life so publicly so they really just don't "get it"!
I hate to say it but I almost wish that someone else would get a health problem so I wouldn't be the only one!  Also, I must admit that while I deeply appreciate H's figuring out how to eat safely, when I'm eating away from home I find it very embarrassing to draw attention to myself with all the details that following this diet requires. It DOES make me feel neurotic!
Do your friends really understand and let you always pick the restaurant and not give you a hard time about "too picky"? Do they really make the effort to prepare a meal that you can eat if you go to their home? What I'm trying to figure out is: do I have a bunch of selfish friends? 
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Many years of C-IBS and pain too for past 2 years-
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Linz made good suggestions- I have a few more.. since you like to cook and bake... either you host more.. or you offer to bring something to go with dinner... my MIL is actually ok with making me a chicken breast and a potato in the nuker if she isn't sure I can eat what she's made.. but she asks first... she tries to make the meal edible.. she's a retired nurse though... mom does nondairy, but can't grasp the rest.. though low fat is what she does for herself, so that helps... my sisters attitude is she'll have things there I ask for and let me take over her kitchen- she lives in NJ and I'm in MI and she hates cooking anyway! she loves my visits because I'll cook yummy stuff that meets everyone's diets, including her DH's low carb lifestyle.. just different options from the table!
mostly though- our friends are used to us inviting them here instead, or my offering to bring part of the meal... and when we go out we go to one of a list of restaurants.. every so often I'll add another to the list, but normally when its just DH and me first to make sure I can eat ok... he'll understand if I don't eat anything but a baked potato or not even that in one instance and we always pack luna bars in pockets/purses or the car just in case!
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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lithelady
#125617 - 11/27/04 09:24 AM
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XXXXX
Reged: 11/23/04
Posts: 210
Loc: South East Texas
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Wow...for the most part my friends are very understanding with my issue. I did have a friend once tell me that I was complaining too much and to do something about it and the truth of the matter was she was right. I became very careful with my diet but didn't take it to the extreme.
I am a "C" also and paying today for over eating at Thanksgiving but it's not too bad.
My IBS is such that if I have a packet of Stevia-plus in my tea every morning...2 packets if I eat more than ususal, I can keep my bowels moving.
As far as eating out...I generally order from the appetizer menu as I can usually find something there. I have been known to bring my own chicken to a friends house when they invited us over for steaks. I make it clear that I have to be careful...don't apologize for it...and bring my own "safe" food and as far as I know no one seems to mind.
I don't think your friends are selfish...maybe uneducated.
Try the stevia-plus....it works wonders for me. I wish you the best.
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Really appreciate your ideas and moreso sharing of your experiences.
Few questions:
1) what's DH mean? "darling husband"  is all I can guess from the context
2) who produces these Stevia Plus packets? I use pure stevia powder in a teensy amount in my tea b/c it's sooooo sweet (I just dip the tip of a toothpick into a small bag of it). What else is combined with stevia in the ingredients of these packets? I've never heard of stevia helping to stimulate the bowels, very interesting!
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Many years of C-IBS and pain too for past 2 years-
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Re: Back again
#125713 - 11/27/04 09:20 PM
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Maye
Reged: 11/27/04
Posts: 19
Loc: Saskatchewan, Canada
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I haven't had problems with friends understanding but my mother. She invited us over for Thanksgiving and served a roast! When I said I couldn't eat any (I've been on the diet since March and she knows this) she asked if I wanted a cheese sandwich instead. And to drink - milk! I told her I couldn't drink milk, and she got this incredilous look on her face and said "Cow's milk?"
I love her but sometimes... 
I think some people in our lives are just in denial that there are those of us who are unable to eat certain foods. I always ask them if they would serve me lobster if I was allergic to shellfish. People understand that analogy.
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IBS D
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That's a very helpful story so thanks for "sharing"! Your post made me realize that the major part of my sensitivity to my friend's lack of empathy is transference of my feelings toward my own mother, who says that she thinks I've become "obsessed" about my eating habits. I hadn't made the connection before that I'm re-directing my anger at my Mom's lack of understanding towards my friend. I'm now realizing that I'm doing this b/c it is "OK" to feel angry towards my friend, whereas I was raised to NEVER express negative feelings towards my parents.....very repressive. No wonder I left the East coast and moved to SF as soon as I could!
Thanks again, it feels good to understand why I felt so ticked at my friend. Normally it takes ALOT to get me upset, I'm very unflappable most of the time. I really was confused by how strongly I felt angry at my friend's lack of empathy. I really like that metaphor about shellfish, will definitely use it!
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Many years of C-IBS and pain too for past 2 years-
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Lithelady
#127039 - 12/02/04 12:16 PM
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XXXXX
Reged: 11/23/04
Posts: 210
Loc: South East Texas
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The Stevia Plus that I use is Sweet Leaf made by Wisdom Natural Brands in Mesa, AZ. Their website is www. sweetleaf.com.
The box says:
Improve Regularity
Cleanse the colon
Support liver health
Assist and strenghten the immune system
Help control the formation of free radicals.
I am not sure what a free radical is...! But I can attest to the regularity thing. I swear by it!
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Thanks for brand name, will try it soon!
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Many years of C-IBS and pain too for past 2 years-
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