Having a rough time today.
#111755 - 10/09/04 05:58 PM
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Carrieokie
Reged: 08/29/04
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
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I have been almost symptom free for about 2 weeks. When this IBS flaired up recently I had just started dating. Getting sick on every date really put a strain on developing a relationship. So, after almost 2 weeks of feeling well I called a guy that I had gone out with a couple of times and set up a date to get together. This took a lot of guts on my part.
So I woke up this morning with hope for a good date this afternoon. I took my SFS and anti-depressant just like I do every morning. Instead of just my 1 BM a day I quickly had a second. Then I threw up everything I had just put into my body. I felt pretty shaky afterwards. So, I cancelled by date and ended what could have been a good relationship. Now my stomach has been upset all day, I am having trouble eating, have had another BM, and am feeling very sorry for myself.
I have been doing the hypnotherapy tapes, completing 30 days. I think it is helping with more symptom free days. I was thinking about what Michael says in the sessions about our subconscious protecting us from something through IBS. I just wish my body would quit protecting me from finding the man of my dreams. I feel like just giving up on the whole dating scene again. 
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I am so sorry about your rotten day. We've all been there -- I've missed out on holiday dinners, concerts, my kids' birthdays, my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner, etc. It stinks.
Does this have to mean the relationship is over??? If he is a decent guy, he should be sympathetic to your not feeling well. Not every guy is going to be able to handle having a friend with IBS but there are plenty out there who would.
I think with IBS you can do all the right things and still have a bad day. With me, sometimes I do all the wrong things and I'm fine. There is only so much control we have over it. I know it's frustrating but we can do hypnotherapy and yoga till we're blue in the face and we're still going to have bad days.
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Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Thanks for your support. I think I may have been the one who ended the relationship. I left him a voice mail in which I stated it was too hard to date if I'm going to be sick all of the time and wished him luck. I just don't know why dating got connected to my IBS but I was hoping I was doing well enough to break the link.
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There is the possibility you will never become completely stable, that IBS will be paying you visits regularly for the rest of your life.
I am not saying this to depress you but rather to get you to think about whether you really want to spend the rest of your life without the love of a man and maybe sometime the love and joy of children. You may not be able to do this right now but I hope that at some point you will try to let someone into your life even if it means a lot of broken dates.
Remember, YOU have something to offer, too, besides your IBS. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself and tell me husband he'd be better off without me he gets mad and points out to me how much I do for him. Not to mention he loves me, and just as I would never reject him because he developed a chonic illness, he would never reject me.
No, not all guys are like this. But I know there are lots!! You just have to convince yourself that you deserve a loving boyfriend. Maybe you can't do that right now.
You might also think about whether depression might be an issue you need to address...it can really color your thinking.
Hang in there ... this day shall pass.
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Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Hey, sweetie, sorry you're having some problems. I really like what Abby said. I second it! When you're ready the right person will appear. So just hang in there and take really good care of yourself, okay?!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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I'm not sure where to begin... is that a 'usual' IBS attack for you, or was that a rarity? Speaking from my experience, I've been following the diet for about 2 months now and although I've had all relatively 'good' days, I've had a few occasions where I've been overly nervous over something & had a few extra BM's... The best advice I can muster up is to eat very carefully around those more nervous or anxious times. I do the Anti-Depressants & they help, but only so much. I'm one of those hi-strung nervous types who seem like they've OD'd on caffiene. Try to hang in there & I'd say try not to stop a developing relationship for these reasons, because I wouldn't be surprised if ending it may also cause your body grief. I'd say, hang in there & you'll get to a point that you feel you can open up & if that person is understanding, then they're definitely worth keeping around. My IBS began around the same time I started dating the guy I'm with now & it got progressively worse throughout our time together & he's been so supportive, from understanding my nervousness in getting to the nearest restroom (back before I knew what was really wrong) to being supportive of the dietary changes I've made, eating at restaurants that won't make me sick & letting me experiment with the recipes I've found on this site. Hang in there, it will get better!!!!!!!!!!
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-shelley
take it one day at a time.
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I am so sorry you are having such a rough time right now!!!
<<<<<<<<<BIGHUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Maybe you could invite him over for dinner and a movie! That way you could cook a real yummy IBS safe dinner and you wouldn't have to worry about what you were going to eat!
Plus if you do have to use the bathroom your at home!! Most people are very understanding about this! Those who are not aren't worth are time!!! I hope you feel better soon!!
Good Luck
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Heather7476
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