New day, new plan!
02/14/06 08:57 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Ok, I got through yesterday but it was pretty rough. Thanks for everyone's well wishes. I went home, had myself a really good cry with Harley and went to bed at 7:30pm!!
I got myself up early this morning and did all my stretches they gave me in physical therapy yesterday and a few extras. The steroid pack I just took really seem to help with the swelling but I'm very sore still and my muscles are very tight. I plan on getting up early every morning to stretch and then in a week or two, when I'm feeling physically strong enough, I will start back on my elliptical trainer. A few years ago, I could do 6 miles in 22.5 minutes! I think that would kill me if I tried it now! So, my plan is to start with 5-8 minutes at a slow pace and work myself up slowly. With the RA and fibro I'll have to do it carefully and slowly but I'm determined to do it! I don't know if I'll ever get to the ability to do 6 miles that fast ever again but thats ok. I just want to feel healthy again and lose some weight. I don't need to be a size 6 again, I'd be happy with a 10! My goal is to lose 38 more pounds. I'm down 12 pounds since I lost the twins but my goal is 150 pounds, I'm 5'8 so thats fine, I don't need to be stick skinny, just healthy and not so jiggly!
I saw the infectious disease dr yesterday afternoon and he was very nice. He has ordered another billion blood tests, I didn't think there were this many left that I haven't had! He is rechecking to be sure the Hep C hasn't returned, he is checking again for Lymes, he's doing the Celiac panel, chlamydia which I've been tested for but just wants to be sure. There a bunch I'm really not sure what they are, ones a T cell study-has to do with the natural killer cells in our bodies, a CIQ????, Immunoglobulin, myoplasm I6m??, Babesia???, Coxsiella??, C-6 peptide?? and H6E/HME?? I'm about to google some of these as I just can't remember what they are all for but I've come this far, might as well go for broke! Its a good thing I have good insurance!
As far as to try to have a baby again or not, I haven't fully decided. I figure in a few months when I'm feeling better we will try but I refuse to go through all the hormones and crap again! I refuse to let myself get so obsessed with it again. I need to not waste my life trying to create another life. Don't get me wrong, I still long for a child but I need to realize that it isn't worth giving up my life for. So guys, if I become to obsessed in the future with "making baby" please remind me of this! I'm trying to think of my furture without a child and be ok with it. Its hard and will take time but I figure if a miracle happens and I am blessed with a child than WONDERFUL but I need to start dealing with the real possibility that it just may not happen for me and I need to make my own peace with that. Not sure how yet but I'm working on it!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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