Emily - yes, many doctors seem to really account everything to lactose int. so they're like, "you tested negative so go ahead and eat all the dairy you want".
jhuggs - my problem is that I can't figure it out on my own. I think that I'd also be fine with a bit of dairy as a part of a meal, but I'm allways "all or nothing". So I either avoid it or eat a lot (a cup of yogurt, several cubes of cheese...). I really need to try just a few bites with a meal.