I've seen you post often as you try to figure out how to eat to control your IBS symptoms. I totally understand how frustrated you are, because I have not found a great diet to fully stabilize my symptoms either. Every time I have a flare up of symptoms, I always immediately look to my diet to blame.
I hope I can provide an insight for you that I've discovered for myself. You've also shared a little bit about your personal life including struggling with an eating disorder and having a parent who you don't get along with. Based on this short history, I'm guessing you have quite a lot of inner emotional turmoil. I believe a root cause to your digestive troubles are the difficult emotions you are carrying around. I know this to be true for myself. I highly recommend you read a book called "The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders" by John Sarno, MD. You can probably find it at the library. This book speaks to psychosomatic disorders, one such disorder being IBS. Sarno believes the root cause of chronic pain and illness such as IBS are painful emotions in our unconscious mind. His book talks about ways to become aware of these emotions. Once we do, our illnesses tend to go away.
I am reading the book now and it makes so much sense to me, and explains why every time I manage one symptom of my IBS, something else comes up in it's place. Sarno talks about this phenomenon in his book. Anyway, I think it would be wise for you to pursue this direction since it seems the managing your diet carefully is not giving you much relief. I hope this helps you and I wish you luck.
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